The dullest blog in the world
Looking at my watch May 12
I was busy doing some things and began to wonder how much time had elapsed. I glanced at my watch and saw the time displayed, thus providing an answer to my question.

From Mimi:

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would livelong and healthy lives.

Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said "Yea," and woman said, "And another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep her figure. Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, sugar from the cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 6 to size 14.

God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,garlic toast on the side. And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And man gained more weight. His cholesterol went through the roof.

God made running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds.

Satan gave cable with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing channels. Man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.

God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.

God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

My Dad sent me this joke the other day. Perty funny.

A liberal died and went to heaven, unusual in itself. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

She asked, "what are all those clocks?"

St Peter answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you Lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the liberal, "whose clock is that?"

St Peter replied, "That's mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Whose clock is that?" asked the liberal, pointing to another one.

"That's George Bush's. The hands have moved a few times, telling us that George only told a few lies in his entire life."

This fascinates the starry eyed liberal to no end, so she asks "Where is Hillary Clinton's clock? She's the smartest woman in the world."

St Peter replies, "Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."